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03/09/2016

Our eyes met and you wanted me. Our lips met and I wanted you. Whiskey and lemonade and deception Stolen breath and hushed mirth. You spoke to me in platitudes I planned desperately to believe. Time is the killer of compassion. Reality, of dedication. Trite idioms and an insistence of intention (It’s not about you, I […]
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09/25/2015

I want to write something bigger than you. I want my words to move mountains. To stretch from sea to sand to lonely cliff, metaphors tumbling with sharp staccato, edges wearing thin, smoother than your glib lies will ever be. I want to write something other than love. Having love, lacking love, I want to […]
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Memory.

I watched the sunrise over the Oregon mountains from an airplane this morning, and it broke my heart. How can twenty years be an eternity and an eye blink? Twenty years. Twenty years. I barely remember the girl who didn’t say “I love you”. The girl who preferred not to be touched, who shied away […]
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100: Freedom

She tries to cry freedom as if it would make it so. She would never wrap around him in the night again. She would never slide out from under an elbow hooked around her in sleep, or feel him snuggle into her neck, face rough with morning, the tickle making her feel special, warm, loved. […]
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2015 is a New Year

I ended 2009 kissing someone who was not mine, while the one who technically was worried about me kissing someone entirely different. It was over. I was pregnant at the end of 2010, with twins, but I didn’t know it. I was also at the beginning of something new. At midnight we toasted with champagne […]
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Writing Fail

I’ve written more letters this year than I have in the last decade. Probably more. I’m happier than I have been in the last decade. Probably more. New place, new life, lots of good. Maybe it’s time to start updating this blog for real. Might be nice to have, to be able to look back […]
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Letters and Sailors, Sailors and Letters

I make questionable romantic decisions. In April of 2013 I met a guy at a party in my hotel room. It became an intense fling that couldn’t go anywhere for a variety of reasons… he already had a girl, he was going into the Navy, he’s eight years younger than me. I’ve spent the last […]
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Question: My Greatest Aspiration in Life

I have recently been playing a get to know you question game with someone pretty fun via text. It’s really legit way to get to know someone. I’ve known this dude for about eight months and we’ve kind of skirted the surface… but in the last six days I feel like I have gotten to […]
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Growing Up Without Growing Old

Do you ever feel like you’re terrible at being an adult? I feel like I’m terrible at being an adult. About two months ago I decided I was going to do this whole Portland thing. Move out here, get a place, settle in and start the next chapter of my life. It was fucking time. […]
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Getting My Shit Together

I hate New Years resolutions. They’re stupid and they don’t mean anything. I’ve spent a year of my life… running from my life. J and I broke up last year on New Year’s Eve. I left at the end of February. And since then I haven’t had much of a home or a life. I […]